THE QUEEN has confirmed that if President Trump makes a state visit, she will kill him with a arm and no-one can bit her.
Palace staff have assured the Queen that, according to English law, Trump is a subject of the Crown and may, if judged to be damaging the monarchy, be dispatched while not repercussion.
She said: “I haven’t made up my mind nonetheless. I might.
“It’s been an awful ton of years hefting the recent arm while not mistreatment it, and who higher to name it on? simply imagine the look on his satsuma face.
“And the colonies would be so grateful they’d have Maine straight back as their regnant monarch, which solves this Brexit issue virtually at a stroke.
“I should do one helpful issue before I resign, really. And imagine how furious it’d build the might lady.”
Her Majesty added: “I genuinely can’t assume of a reason to not. Anyone?”